I regret to Inform you. 5/4/24

By the time you're 18,

You receive more,

“I regret to inform you’s”,

Than,

“I am pleased to inform you’s”,

One in a million,

A million and one opportunities. 

Everything and nothing,

All at once. 

Maybe the stubborn attitude,

Sting of blisters,

Sacrificial ambition,

Skin and bones,

Self-confidence destroying,

Second choice version of me,

Was never meant,

To be a dancer. 

Maybe grieving the,

(not so) glamorous,

(not so) gracious,

(not so) good natured path,

Is the thing all wrapped up,

With a bow.

A gift, that is. 

The paradox,

The passion

And the pain 

All in the same place. 

Happy does not always mean healthy.

And sometimes what you want,

Most in life,

Is not healthy. 

Pushing to the limits,

Maybe that is why we have limits, anyways…

Because we can’t do it all. 

You can’t lose the weight

Through shame.

The more you try to take it away,

The more you want it.

The more you bury it,

The more it crawls up from the grave.